What Would YOU Do with 10,000 Condoms?

Duh.

How 'bout if you had to give them all away in less than three days? Keep in mind there are only 4,320 minutes in a three-day period, stud.

Next weekend I'll be joining several other of my fellow public health nerds in going down to the Coachella Music Festival east of Palm Springs. It will be three days of hot days, cold nights (its the desert) and fantastic music. The lineup includes Jay-Z, She & Him, The Dirty Projectors, MGMT, Spoon, De La Soul, and of course... PAVEMENT.

What makes the trip extra-special is that we'll be arriving with 10,000 condoms in tow. We applied for and received a 'mini-grant' from the Center for Health Leadership student board and purchased them through the AIDS Healthcare foundation. We'll be giving them out at the festival for free to help balance the fact that last year they were reportedly selling condoms at a price between $2-3 each. Clearly a barrier to safe sex... clearly.

But the best part... we made t-shirts. And they're awesome. See below.

I Heart Vaccines

Measles will kill you. Why? Because your neighbors didn't vaccinate their children, and then you babysat for those little rats. Little did you know that those germ bags came into contact with another unvaccinated little punk while they were vacationing in southeast Asia two weeks ago.

The term 'intentionally unvaccinated' is used to describe these kids, whose parents refuse vaccines not on religious grounds (that would be reasonable), but based on new-agey pseudo-science that says 'organic' food will boost your immune system and vaccines will give your child autism. (1) There is no scientific standard set by any regulatory body (such as the FDA) to determine what 'organic' entails, and if you have any concept of how the immune system functions, you'd realize that organic yogurt isn't going to keep you from getting even something as 'mild' as the flu (influenza will also kill you). (2) I've ranted plenty of times before about the complete lack of scientific evidence supporting any link between vaccination and autism. And of the steady of flow of court cases coming to the same conclusion should be some kind of indicator.

Its ironic that we're so lucky to live in a country where people actually have a choice of whether or not to get vaccinated against diseases that kill thousands in other parts of the world. Diphtheria, polio, pertussis, measles, pneumococcus, Haemophilis influenzae, rubella, hepatitis... know anyone with these ailments? Probably not. Its because we have vaccines.

NPR did a great story on the cost of recent measles outbreaks that have been occurring with more frequently as pockets of 'intentionally unvaccinated' grow. Check it out.

In other news, the latest formulation of Meningococcal vaccine is hitting Europe, which will now help to protect adults against Meningitis C. Of the five major pathogenic strains, we can now vaccinate against Meningitis A, C, Y, and W135. Meningitis B vaccine still eludes because its a tricky bastard, but its days are numbered.

You can visit the CDC website to the schedule of immunizations every person should receive.

Post About Nothing

I'm a pretty crappy blogger. Even I will admit, between bouts of self-loathing, that there's a gem or two on this blog, even if those gems are only a couple sentences long. However, I really cranked out too many posts in February and I fear I'm suffering a residual loss of inspiration, intelligence, or wit (probably all three). There are numerous likely causes for this downturn in my blogging ability, and I will enumerate them here for my own benefit as I ponder how to get back on the track to achieving blogging mediocrity...

1. Imbalance of bodily humors. According to the ancient Greeks, the four bodily humors were identified as black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, and blood. Since blood was traditionally associated with the spring season I must be short on blood. Interestingly, it is also associated with the liver, my most oft-abused organ; could there be a connection? Perhaps.
2. Impending reversal of the Earth's magnetic field. On average it reverses approximately every 300,000 years, but we haven't had a reversal in 780,000 years! We're totally due for it.
   
3. Rabies. It can have an incubation period of several days to several years. I figure I must have been infected by a bat bite, which can sometimes go unnoticed. If its the long-incubation sort I'll slowly progress from malaise and fever to the more exciting symptoms like violent movements, uncontrolled excitement, hydrophobia, hallucination, and coma. Not even Dr. House could save his rabies patient. I'm doomed.
   
4. Lack of Artistic Angst. "Angst is a German, Danish, Norwegian and Dutch word for fear or anxiety. It is used in English to describe an intense feeling of strife." Basically, I think I'm too easily contented. I need some strife.
   
5. I am Job-esque. You know, Job, from the Bible. The almighty is testing me by ensuring my writing sucks. Don't worry God, I'm wise to your tricks. I don't blame you.
   
6. Armageddon. This is only the very first sign of the impending armageddon that we all knew would follow the passage of the Health Care bill. Damn you Obama.

Truth be told, I probably just need to adjust my whiskey-to-beer intake ratio. Perhaps that's the black and yellow bile the ancient Greeks were referring to.

In the Spirit of Easter (and Bourbon)

This was sent to by a fellow Maker's Mark Ambassador (he prefers 'Apostle'), my friend Ryan. You can read his blog here.

This was his response to my suggestion that one day they might produce a commemorative Maker's Mark bottle in his likeness, as they just did for Coach Cal (thanks for pointing that out Kate).


A reading from Ryan's Letter to the Kentuckians:

And I did go unto the Makers and make known to them my skill. Unto them, I did say: "Go forth into the land, you men and women, and gather in thine arms the golden wheat and barley of thy fields, discard the chaff, and add to it the wheat that grows red in Winter. Mark me well when I say unto thee that ye shall add no rye to thine grains, for it is the mark of inferiority and tool of a shoddy craftsman. Instead add these grains, I tell you, to the the cool, sweet spring waters that flow forth, by the grace of Dixie, from the ground in this land. Into a large Vat shall ye pour this Holy elixir. Heat it, I say, slowly, for many days and nights. Drain ye the liquid, and pass it
through yon copper tubes and pipes, heated with purifying flame. Visit the cooper, and have made a barrel of such quality, toasted to perfection, and made ready to be filled with thine Spirits. Wait now children, for the Still waters must becalm, for 10 summers. Great patience will be rewarded, I tell you.

If you do this, if you heed my words, and heed them well and true, unto thee shall be delivered the greatest of gifts: a golden ambrosia so Healthful and Right, that all shall know its power, even by scent. You shall call it: Bourbon. See ye this Mark? Affix it to thine vessels, o Makers of Dixie, that all shall know its power. In time, the people of distant lands shall hear, and perchance, even partake of your Bourbon. When they do, they will feel compelled to embark upon a great Journey, across the mountains, from whence your sweet water flows; across the plains upon which your grains grow. To thine door, shall they Journey. And ye shall welcome them, these weary travelers, with arms and doors flung wide. Unto them shall ye say: 'Behold, road-worn traveler, the Mark of the Makers. Ye have traveled long and well, and thine deliverance is at hand. But take heed: to step through these doors and to partake of the Bourbon is to be transformed. If ye stay with us this night, on the morrow shall ye depart an agent of
the Makers, burdened to spread the Gospel of the Bourbon through the land. Aye, cross this threshold and ye shall become an Ambassador.'"

And the Makers made the Bourbon, affixed their mark to the vessels, welcomed the travelers, and spread the Good News of the Bourbon far and wide. And it is good.

The Scotch Night #2 [Scotch Night is Really Blowing Up]

Scotch Night #2: Triple Attack - The Dalmore 12 Year, The Balvenie 12 Year Doublewood, and special guest Maker's Mark bourbon.

Price: The Dalmore ($42), The Balvenie ($40), Maker's Mark (You know how much it costs you alcoholic)

Taste:
The Dalmore; very smooth with a hint of sweetness, almost Irish whisky-esque. A solid choice, especially for first-time scotch drinkers, not quite as exciting compared to others.

The Balvenie; delicious! An almost-bourbon sweetness and a bit more bite than the Dalmore. Slaps you in the mouth a bit. This was the clear favorite.

Maker's Mark; I felt almost guilty that half my motivation for drinking the scotch was to get to the Maker's Mark... almost. They should put this stuff in juice boxes so I can pack in my school lunch.

Paired With: French bread, two types of Brie, crazy goat cheese & apple slices, the musical stylings of Rob White.

Consumed By: Adam, Paul, Robbie, Megha, Dave, Alyssa, Gail, Christie, Nick, Lief. It was quite a crowd.

Immediate Effect: Stuffing two people into a single 'onesie' (see below).

Short-Term Effect: Heckling Robbie until he finally played guitar for us.

Long-Term Effect: Chugging coffee at the bagel shop and wondering why it is that my legs always hurt after a night of hard liquor consumption (a quick scan of the interwebs shows that many people clearly have this same question).


Report Filed 4/3/10 in the Annals of Infectious Disease Scotch Consumption

Things That Upset Me

College Basketball is stupid anyways. The World Cup can't get here fast enough.

"You must never be satisfied with losing. You must get angry, terribly angry, about losing. But the mark of the good loser is that he takes his anger out on himself and not his victorious opponents" ~Richard M. Nixon

You know you're on the wrong track when Richard Nixon seems virtuous in comparison.

Al Gore already won a Nobel Peace Prize.

Just for good measure.

Joe Biden Gets Excited...

...about Amtrak and health care reform mostly. And Barack Obama. Those guys love each other.

What's best is that Biden can go from quoting Virgil (5:30) one moment, and then whisper to BarryO, "this is a big fucking deal!" (5:58) within earshot of the microphones surrounding him. How can you not love that?

Joe, you can be my conductor any day.